Monday, 21 May 2012

London Lessons #1

Umbrellas do not belong in the city

I've become and angry walker. Someone who walks at a ridiculously fast pace (in trainers) and resents ANYONE who gets in the way. Some days I walk through the city in the light rain, I figure I can't look any more hassled after my train journey so I might as well go for it, however this kind of crazy behaviour isn't for everyone. People in London seem to fear the rain, in a way I've never experienced before, one drop and BOOM the umbrellas are up. Women scramble through their handbags to protect their hair, men miraculously produce umbrellas from somewhere on their person and the whole of London Bridge gets rammed with low flying umbrellas.

Being 5'6, walking amongst umbrellas is a constant hazard. I seem to be at eye level with many of them held by women and spend my walk ducking and diving between a forest of metal spokes. Don't even get me started on how I risk my life trying to cross the roads whilst positioning myself away from the group of umbrellas all stood at the traffic lights. There is a small advantage of just having a lowly hood - that I can weave around and stand right at the front of the crowd who are bustling to cross the road. 

It isn't just when umbrellas are up that they're a hazard, after the drizzle has stopped many men insist on swinging their rolled up umbrellas as their power walking to the office, several times I've had to sidestep a wildly swung metal capped death stick. 

London pavements at rush hour aren't built to cope with umbrellas, people walk at different speeds and I can't overtake when people walking in both directions have theirs up. Living in constant fear of arriving at the office with only one eye shouldn't even be on my radar, but it is.

Woe is me.

Becca xx


  1. I completely agree with you! My home town is small and not busy at all so umbrellas are acceptable but I live in Bristol at the moment and oh my the slightest hint of rain and the pavements become an obstacle course and people seem to just wave them all over the place! x

  2. Hehe I feel your pain! I do like getting my umbrella out though.. but I do walk super quick and hate slow walkers!! xx

  3. This is hilarious, and I totally agree. I'm about your height and umbrellas are DANGEROUS. Hoods are way better. Also, have you noticed they do a much better job of keeping your hair dry?

  4. Haha I agree! It's hard not to be an angry walker in London, there are so many annoying people that walk SO slow! x

  5. Oh dear! I say I'd be alright because I'm 5ft 3in so I'd be shorter than everyone else lol!

  6. Oh they fully don't belong in the city. Honestly, would a little water kill ya?

    I understand if it's an outright downpour, but a little sprinkling never hurt no one!

    And nice blog! You've got a new follower :)

  7. Haha you had me at 'angry walker'. So true 5ft 3 isn't advantageous (is that even a word?) either. I'm not even from London and have become an 'angry walker' when I'm there!
    Oh and I totally agree Londoners (or at least in my experience) have no idea how to deal with rain, me being from Wales its pretty much mandatory (and the sheep ;-) for all those thinking it!).

    Lisa xx

  8. hahah I am totally a Umbrella user, I do not like to get wet on my way to work or when I am meeting up with my boyfriend/friends downtown! I can see why it is a hazard though.

    The Urban Umbrella

  9. I really enjoyed this post and I totally agree with you! I am 5'10 and the umbrella spokes either poke me in the eye or embarrassingly get caught in my hair! It's a total nightmare! xx

  10. Haha this made me chuckle! I completely know what you mean, although, I shall be honest with you, I'm the donkey with the umbrella that can't control it, and knocks out half of the people that try and pass me by (aka, you). I'm sorry, I am the ultimate umbrella fiend. I just like them, not in a 'OOOO, MY HAIR!', kind of way, but more in a 'Ooo, I feel like I'm in my own little cave under here, and I can hide my 'come hither' glances at that sexy piece of male folk standing on the corner....'.

    I need the umbrella in that photo! It's bloody marvellous! Xx


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