Friday, 27 June 2014

On Being Selfish

I'm going to be honest with you guys right now. Straight up.

I love clicking that box on Bloglovin' that says 'mark all as read'.

There is something refreshing about not having that God-awful number rise into the hundreds and haunt my computer. I started this blog to write, but increasingly I put the onus on commenting. Don't get me wrong, I love interacting with everyone out there and getting new recipe/home ideas, but there are times I catch myself commenting out of obligation and not out of interest.

Bravery comes in all forms, and this blog has made me feel a bit of a coward. I now hide behind my images to distract from the fact I often can't find the words to write. My lifestyle isn't as fabulous as yours, I don't bother to make up recipes and take photos in restaurants and I'm too busy enjoying the food and company. I don't take my camera everywhere, but when I do I hear that nag in the back of my head 'make these photos blog worthy!' My photos shouldn't be blog worthy, they should be capturing the memories I make doing the things I love with the people I love.

When I first started blogging there was no #lbloggers chat, no Bloglovin' and I didn't even know about stats until about a year in. Now the whole community is 'supportive', but I can't help feeling the more supportive we all are, the more you move to trying to become bigger, better, more like the others. I have no problem with growth, but I've seen plenty of blogs grow and become almost soulless, with empty words and over-edited pictures. I want to glimpse at your life and be pleased for you, not doubt my own choices.

For that reason I've broken my blog silence, I've stated why I've been in hiding. I can't take all of this Perfect Lifestyle that the sphere has become about. I've met people through blogging, Charlotte and we have drunk full bottles of wine in front of each other and talked about everything under the sun, and I'm hugely grateful for this side of things. Now it is time to get back to me. To create a space where I can write and log my life and not think of others. When deciding whether to post I'm not going to think 'does anyone care', but instead 'will my mum want to read this', as ultimately my blog is at its best when I feel like I'm writing to home, to people I know.

I'll see you on the flip side.

5 comments:

  1. I'm really glad you broke your silence 1. Because the things you say are v.true and I am definitely guilty of some of it (empty posts every now and then, clicking THAT button) 2. Because I've been wondering what you've been up to.
    I've found that my favourite bloggers tend to post irregularly, as and when they do something fun/have an interesting subject to talk about or share. That way I always look forward to clicking on their newest post. I've met some lovely people through blogging and I do think the meet ups are one of the best things about it because you can meet the people behind the blogs and know they're pretty similar to you - worry about the same things, read the books you like, are into crafty stuff like you.
    Becca trust me, your lifestyle is most definitely more fabulous than mine. I live in my parent's attic. But yes, you are so right: Your blog is about you and what you want to write. Looking forward to whatever you've got planned for the flip side :) X

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm pretty psyched about the flip side.
    We blog for ourselves first and foremost, hopefully, maybe, sometimes and when it's just not fun anymore or you're feeling the pressure to keep up with the Joneses (or blogging equivalent) that ain't so much fun. Hope you find your passion for it again, regardless of everyone else.
    And for the record, I'd drink a full bottle of wine in front of you any time you like.
    Awkward stranger hugs xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Becca, you have READ MY MIND. Love you girl. Possibility of the potential for a meet soon. What would your thoughts be on this!?

    Good luck for the flip side. See you there.

    Alice xx |The Cup and Saucer

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don;t think it's supportive, i think the "community" is just super competitive.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stumbled upon this through other blogger lists...After various attempts to write a blog over the last few years, I finally decided to start writing about what I really like and what my everyday life actually is instead of trying to keep up with people who post about Chanel purses and my "outfit of the week", etc. It might not be the most glamorous of lifestyle blogs, but I don't have a glamorous lifestyle so it would just all be a lie! I'm so glad I found this post (and your blog).

    Have a great day!
    www.farmbrews.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you, try and make me laugh. I dare you.