I'm going to be honest with you guys right now. Straight up.
I love clicking that box on Bloglovin' that says 'mark all as read'.
There is something refreshing about not having that God-awful number rise into the hundreds and haunt my computer. I started this blog to write, but increasingly I put the onus on commenting. Don't get me wrong, I love interacting with everyone out there and getting new recipe/home ideas, but there are times I catch myself commenting out of obligation and not out of interest.
Bravery comes in all forms, and this blog has made me feel a bit of a coward. I now hide behind my images to distract from the fact I often can't find the words to write. My lifestyle isn't as fabulous as yours, I don't bother to make up recipes and take photos in restaurants and I'm too busy enjoying the food and company. I don't take my camera everywhere, but when I do I hear that nag in the back of my head 'make these photos blog worthy!' My photos shouldn't be blog worthy, they should be capturing the memories I make doing the things I love with the people I love.
When I first started blogging there was no #lbloggers chat, no Bloglovin' and I didn't even know about stats until about a year in. Now the whole community is 'supportive', but I can't help feeling the more supportive we all are, the more you move to trying to become bigger, better, more like the others. I have no problem with growth, but I've seen plenty of blogs grow and become almost soulless, with empty words and over-edited pictures. I want to glimpse at your life and be pleased for you, not doubt my own choices.
For that reason I've broken my blog silence, I've stated why I've been in hiding. I can't take all of this Perfect Lifestyle that the sphere has become about. I've met people through blogging, Charlotte and we have drunk full bottles of wine in front of each other and talked about everything under the sun, and I'm hugely grateful for this side of things. Now it is time to get back to me. To create a space where I can write and log my life and not think of others. When deciding whether to post I'm not going to think 'does anyone care', but instead 'will my mum want to read this', as ultimately my blog is at its best when I feel like I'm writing to home, to people I know.
I'll see you on the flip side.